we have pet lesbian snakes
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Randomize
