apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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