what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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