I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
