obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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