So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
