so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
