It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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