They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
