insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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