just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
