i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
