Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
