WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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