brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
