used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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