hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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