Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
