and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
