I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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