i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
