just tell him i said nine months
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
