You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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