i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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