Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
