How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I should be sponsored by Trojan
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
