He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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