oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
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"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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