Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
