i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
