omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
