Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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