No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize