Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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