I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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