Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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