Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
