peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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