yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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