We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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