Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
