Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
