I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
