I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
