if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
do herpes really smell.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
