Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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