a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
