you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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