he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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