did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
no you cant smoke seaweed
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
