Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Hippo gnu deer
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
