can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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