even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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