I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Panties = found
Randomize
