I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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