WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I had to cum in my sink.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
