Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
