I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
