If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
