Plan B is the new Plan A
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
