is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
