How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
